Due to many guidelines within Christianity, many people feel the need to overdo people pleasing and therefore they lose the genuine desire to help one another. This is when giving and love becomes a tremendously difficult task, as opposed to something we should do with our hearts and minds in peace.
Boundaries focuses exactly on that, on the times when we should simply set aside some time for ourselves and stop being a tool for other people's purposes (at all times). Serving other is surely the greatest gift we can do for ourselves and an infinite source of spiritual food for our soul, but we must remember that we are just human after all, and that positive energy for understanding and pleasing others has to come from within.
In order for it to exist within us, it needs to be created, of course. Every one of us creates their inner peace when we are alone, doing what we want, without being disturbed by others. In Boundaries, you can find guidelines that will help you make better decision about when to say yes and when no without feeling the burden of guilt.
If we fail to set up healthy boundaries, we will also fail other people, no matter how hard we try. Loving others is always in parallel proportion with loving oneself and we as Christians, must learn to put love first and pressure second. On the contrary, we will only be building on more and more pressure and forget how to pay attention to other people's needs put of love, not just a mundane necessity we must do in order to call ourselves true Christians.
The authors of this book are using subtle references to the Bible and they write in a very inspirational way that can touch and teach every person, regardless of their spiritual background.
The book also touches the subject of proper reaction – since we cannot control the actions of others, we can control the way we perceive them and the impact that we will let those actions have upon our peace of mind.
As it happens so that other people can touch you physically without your permission and you need to set boundaries, the same goes for our thoughts and emotions. A lot of people are able to drain the positive out of others and sometimes it is done without knowings, sometimes even on purpose.
Only by drawing clear boundaries between our own reaction and the behavior of others, our own essential needs and the needs of others, will we be properly equipped for a truly balanced life.
